Time to let go

We came like Lightning
Thunder clouds rolling
Our hearts pounding
Our lives unfolding

My love a weight
Fueling this hate
Not your fault
We had to part

Skipping work to hang out
Swinging by to pick you up
Kissing you in parking lots
Taking you in public spots

A fun distraction
While it lasted
I miss my friend
My old companion

Jettisoned now
Destined to grow
I haven't seen you yet
I know because I've looked

Breathe

Leaving behind, 

all the rest

swaying this time, 

towards our  nest

You lay down, 

our legs entangle

No longer numb, 

energy untangled

Our eyes meet, 

you shift your hips

My eyes drift, 

I find your lips

Plump and wet, 

changing in front of me

My mind goes blank

as the sensations flood me

Get lost in our field

Our bodies afire

My finger keeps inching

the stroke a little lighter

Electrical currents

Connecting our circuits

We both feel the pull

That only our bodies know

The room expands

and disappears

We become the sun

And melt our fears

Slowly come back

To this planet

Look down to you

Was it just 15 minutes?

Stuck

Dead sex

An empty embrace

No life in your eyes now 

what's left

If I'd know then 

What was happening

I would have thought

I could have done something

Stop texting

I'm blocking your emails

I'll never read them

through all of these tears

One day

I'll be

Happy again, 

We'll see

And one day

In another life

Mabye we could be friends

Maybe not

I still miss you

And I hate you

Wish you were back in my arms

Fucking A

What are you doing

In my world

Who told you that you could walk right through the door?

Two-face bully

Hypocrit

Talk of love but you treat me like a stiff

I just wanted

To be a friend

Sure I'd slip but I was there to the bitter end

And now you're back

No care in the world

As if nothing happened and we're still good friends

Where's your head

Up in the clouds

You talk about the past, with no sights on yourself

I can't seem to let it go 

but I know I need to grow

You could change in a thousand ways, won't stop me from seeing the girl I know

Calling it Quits

You're calling it quits

As the sun sets

We'll go our separate ways

You've got your lists

And your reasons

So think away your pain

I held your bullshit

Even when you were mean

You showed your talons

Your venomous teeth

And now it's over, you think you've got away

No one to yell at, to fan at the flames

I'm going my way, but it feels like a shame

Where's the point

When you stopped

Trying and started dying

You made me

Your villain

Not fair

For not tellin'

Me the truth

Of where you were at

No points, 

You scaredy-cat

I loved you, 

All of you

That's the truth and now I'm due

For my next

Big catch

You watch

Get jealous

And now it's all 

Coming back

Time for me

To get on track

Rising sun

On horizon

Bring light on in

Turning on

My dark side

Let the shadows grow

Floating away

Floating on

a little row boat

out to see

somewhere more remote

smiling at you 

while we row away from it all

touching you

my fingers running through your hair

your head on my chest

arms holding you tight

hearts beat together

drift off into the night

reality lingers at the waters edge

mind mind races

my cloudy head

my body aches

longs for your touch

and in the end

I fear it's all lost

My patterns return

like the fish of the sea

eating one another

surviving another day

we're not living

stuck at sea

you're all I need

to stop growing me

and I look around

and realize your gone

the facade of connection

when I'm really all alone

Falling

Call me up

Give me the location

I'm on my way

with no hesitation

The moments we share

never last long

but we have a ball

and it's never boring

we keep burning hot

with no sign of slowing

she's got my number

and knows just how to play me

and I wanna talk

but she's not in the mood

and I want to sulk

when she's not around

Dear God i'm resentful

and afraid I've fallen

with no one to help me

Navigate these emotions

I know I'm alone

Always have been

I just keep wanting more

more love and affection

Seeing Again

A chance encounter

I see you again

You look different

and somehow the same

we laugh and touch

play games with our eyes

you see my eye wrinkles

just like old times

and for a moment I

let myself realize

how much I like seeing you

how I miss being with you

And we say goodbye

with plans to meet again

but as we turn to walk away

I know it won't happen

Because we could have it

but for how long

It could be magical

before reality returns

I've loved since you

and I saw what it was

Nothing too special

We'll have it with anyone

No Mistakes

This could be the biggest mistake I've made

but we'll never know, to rest it's been laid

and we'll adapt and change

and find a way to stay sane

and at the end of the day

we'll just sit there and say

it was for the better

no one will be wiser

but I'll know it could've gone any way

and I'm just sitting here waiting for the day

when you crawl back and look in my eye

and I'll see you learned, but we won't cry

cause we adapt and change

find ways to stay sane

our days grow short

and our nights get long

the darkness lingers

a little longer every time

Whirlwind

You speak so violently

Jaw tight, you'd sit and stew

I'd just watch you quietly

never really seeing you

And in the end, 

no one wins 

and you just look at me

You never asked for what you wanted

I'd never look into my own heart

And in the end, 

we grew apart, 

what's left now

Moving away and changing jobs

Leaving behind new found friends

Resumes, walking, 

interviews and train-hopping

I knew it'd be hard, but never take this long

parties, faces, 

names and places

Turn on's starting while my world keeps turning

Writing like my hands on fire

flying on the wings I've borrowed

dancing with the fire snake

grooving for my shadow's sake

I feel a little like a child

looking back on what we created

I still think I hate you

for what you hid

In the end, 

were you ever my friend, 

you stranger

Now and then, I still think of you

and our little dog too

Still feels like 

a hole in my heart, 

and I just wonder why

Living in the Machine

This machine was

Built for us

For our future 

For people to prosper

Along came, 

Small men

Who Lacked love

But not envy

They put price tags on everything

Created a new step in sharing

We use the system

And see the symptoms

Makes us compete

To make ends meat

And we blame each other

For simply being animal

The charges lead

By unhappy people

Living unfulfilled Lives

Thinking their past was better

Wanting to Shrink all

To their lowly level

Never look to the top

To the operators above

The ones who create price tags

And promise to keep 'em down

And the operators fight

With a new group to blame

Loads of money raised

For their new campaign

So we all point and attack

And It's always the same

Inside this machine 

We're all still enslaved

The Burden Anthem

This world was barren, but full of life

Empty of buildings, and oh so ripe

And the animals saw us, even at night,

But they were helpless, we'd win the fight

On civilizations, we woke up

Traveling cross towns, knew what was right

The congregations arose, just out of spite

And some understood, they got to see light

And we have leaders

But we can lead ourselves

Who do we become

When the leaders lead us?

Idea of money and job, 

And all the steps involved

The time and energy, 

The system needs to evolve

Why such an enemy, 

And so removed from love

This place is full of stories

And the metaphors can travel everywhere

This place is heaven and hell

It can change at every corner

We created this world

Created these burdens

The river may have been straight

But we've made it perverted

And some will say, "We're powerless"

And really then the imagination's lost.

We got ourselves in, can get ourselves out

Come together to see what the big pictures about

Animal

I will love you
Long as you stick around
Will you stay with me
Forever and for all time

They stop and stare at me
To point and talk and giggle
I don't wanna be seen
Just hide out in the shadows

I will love you
Long as you stick around
I don't need you
Except when I feel down

I wanna eat her out
Devour her entirely
Just to prove I could
Another notch on my belt

I will love you
Long as you stick around
I'm just an animal
Who gets lonely in the dark

Puffers

Seasons changing

The leaves falling

Moon shining

My breath freezing

Grab my scarf

outta storage

smells like Puffers

My old companion

Memories of us

running through the park

The grass so green

the Leaves piled up

Your little dog smile

as you frolic along

hiding in the leaves

we play our own games

tired and sweaty

we return home

both in the shower

to wash away the germs

Holding you 

against my chest

Give me dog kisses

just to connect

smelling your little paws

A memory I can't forget

Winter's here again

the Leaves are brown

Maybe I'll see you

playing with some new friends

Game Over

She worshipped me

and I could see

what was happening

but I wouldn't concede

I pretended otherwise

to get my way

and ended on the otherside

with no games to play

and now I'm left

feeling spun out of control

no longer sure of what's up

no longer sure of where to go

feeling empty

a lack of myself

I'm hiding somewhere

under all the grief

Lap Dog

I wake up in the middle of the night

Another nightmare, givin me a fright

I see your face

I remember your games

Go back to the place

When nothing changed

And I wonder

And I wonder

Were we ever friends

Or just lovers

I see your name flashin on my phone

My heart starts to drop

I can't seem to let go

See images of you

With your other guys

Feeling small

Left by wayside

And I wonder

And I wonder

Were we ever friends

Or just lovers

What's wrong with me

Why can't I see

How I'm guilty

What's wrong with me

Why can't I see

The way she treated me

I can't keep you close

I gotta cut you loose

You're bringing me down

With all your frowns

I was never me, 

Never good enough

You'd bitch me out, 

Like you had it rough

I was caged and disciplined

I knew what was bad

Never learned the right way

You never wanted it good

And when I look back

I see what I was

I was just your lap dog

So loyal and dumb

You just put me down

Just put me down

And put me out

Into the ground

And I wonder

And I wonder

Were we ever friends

Or just lovers

And you say you're losing

Your very best friend

And I think to myself

This needs to end

Cause we were just

Just no longer friends

She's Gone

She came to me

on a warm breeze

there were ups and downs

smiles and frowns

and now it's come to an end

so long to my best friend

Hand on the door

boxes packed

She'll walk out

and never come back

She's going now

riding the wind again

out of my life

as fast as she came in

And here I am

back where I started

Learned a lot

broken hearted

use my words

there all that's left

memories of us

fading fast

living now

day to day

dreams of tomorrow

lay and wait

Always be there

I saw my mom crying

and I gave her advice

I saw staci drowning

and I provided the vice

and when I was crying

I knew what it felt like

and when I was drowning

I just wanted it to stop

and I knew
when I was in it

how true
the depression

to feel left
by the wayside

alone and lost,
with no light

no direction in life

no where to call home

my hearts not inside of me

it stays somewhere else

Friends

You don't want to talk

about past or present

Unable to stay calm
when you're still in it

I'm drowning in the water

of your dreams to unfold

I need a life preserver

just to keep me afloat

and your words are cold

and far from feeling

and your eyes are distant

this is who I was dating?

How could you speak to me

with such disdain

Like I'm so beneath you
for feeling what's inside

but I can't talk to you

because you never think

and the moment I ask a question

You start to feel guilt

and I don't know

if it's mine or yours

where it's coming from

we'll never know

but you'd bitch me out

for feeling sad

call me ugly

when my tears ran

You watch me sink

and say it's my fault

You watch me cry

and say we're already broken up

And you wanna stay friends
and I can't believe you
Cause no one talks to me that way
No one fights like you do

Dumb Love

I'll give you the keys

to start my ignition

my heart starts rolling

my head goes missing

My chest starts to heave

and I begin to leave

and you can feel the heat

radiating from me

And you think you can feel

so I'll offer you a meal

but all you do is heal

and my heart you steal

steer me all over

just out of your way

and I'll be another lover

caught in your wake

Fractals

I can see it now

We're not connected

Like fractals exploding

Into a spiral staircase

You think I'm responsible

For feeling your pain

I think you're the person

Responsible for this grin

But that's just not real

They don't work that way

Everything I feel

It's just coming from me

Nothing to do

With giving or taking

Just what I want
How far I'm willing...

I can see it now

How we're connected

Like fractals exploding

Into a double helix

I wanna make love

To another lover

She'll give herself over

In the way that I want to

I'm looking for an experience

One unlike any other

I'll know when I've found it

I'll have found an equal

Had sex and gone fucking

Just shades of the rainbow

How would it feel

To be made love to

I can see it now

That connectedness

Fractals changing

But never stopping

And I look into your eyes

And I see your intention

You're another lover

Someone connected

Fingers through your hair

Our lips caressing

Sliding down the fractal
As it keeps changing

Intertwined Lovers
Too ripe for the picking
But it's not gonna stop me
I want to keep searching

Constants

Particles in space

Traveling at the speed of light

Dancing in shapes

Interacting in a void

 

All attracting

All reacting

Particles entangling

Dancing around Love and Fear

 

A supernova explodes

The identities dissolve

A transcendental equation

A Perfect reaction

In an ever changing system

 

No remainders

Nothing left over

All crossed out

Miraculous Endeavor

 

Particles in space

Traveling at the speed of light

Dancing in shapes

Interacting in a void

Just an Animal

Sleeping and eating

this is my life

taking what I want

how animals survive

I saw you slinking

your fine ass away

knew I had have you

would take you my way

I led you and fed you

Kept you safe from others

Ignored you and hid you

gave you my leftovers

I knew we were

different breeds

Lions and Puma's

just planting the seeds

We fight over the carcass
we fight over everything
noises we make
like biting at my face

I come away,

bloodied and scarred

and there you go

Off to look for more

Back to the jungle

where we belong

Lick my wounds
'til another comes along

Underground Caves

Space and time

They go and hide

Something in your eyes

I cannot deny

I want to talk

but would rather walk

words get in the way

follow me to a new day

we banter and laugh

but we're not talking

we forget the words

they mean nothing

Looking and watching

Our bodies happening

your lips begin to curl

You see my eyes wrinkle

The start of an adventure
Our bodies the center
Minds yearning for more
ready to explore

don't care about your day

what you have to say

give yourself over

see me as a lover

a body of peaks and valleys
A cave with no drawings

my finger's expression
your skins sensations

I want to go deep
My tongue taking lead
And shine my light
on the places in dark
left in the dark forever
cause no one else bothered

Lucifer's Hammer

I planted the seeds
and filled all their needs
Coming in crooked
why aren't you lookin'

Like Lucifer's Hammer
coming from above
I never saw it coming
but now it's obvious

How'd they grow

so damn fast

The stalks got away from me
They're not gonna last

You're like lucifer's hammer

my world is destroyed

Torn to pieces

and stuck in a void

You leaned away
and what can I say
Didn't give you enough water
guess I'm to blame

I was Lucifer's Hammer
and came in fast
to set your future
and destroy your past

Static Love

I'll swallow my soul

just to keep you close

and I'll play in all your games

if you'll only take my name

This can't be happening

not because of me

You broke me into pieces
and now you're gonna leave

Please stay with me

Just stay me

What could I have changed
Nothing will be the same
And nothing seems to matter
So why bother with the chatter

And I can't seem to leave

this dark place in me

Sorry you've got to die

just for me to survive

Please stay with me

Just stay me

I see you walk towards me

Looking sweet as a peach

Going into the class

Our paths look to pass

yoga matts in a pile

I see you across the tile

dancing all the while

your flashing me a smile

Please stay with me

stay me

And I'm not ready

but I took you with me

Would you stay a little longer
If I made you an omelet

Cause I want you to be
Just to be with me
If love is a state of mind
I just want to make up mine

Please stay with me

Just stay me

Stay me

Stay

Down the Slide

These feelings inside of me
I can't help but concede
They're driving me crazy
And my brain's gonna bleed

I'll follow you Alice
And feel the fall fast
Get lost in the pictures
Pictures of the past

And what's going on
What's really happening
Up is now down
I just wanna go dancing

And I could dance
With everyone in here
Did I get a chance
To get near you?

On the trip
I thought we were close
But as it fades
I'm feeling what's lost

And what I miss
It's not being given to
I'm seeing it now...
I just miss giving to

And when I see it
What I extended
I see that's what I longed for
And I'm still searchin'

So take me Alice
And show me the way
Show me the world
In a way where I won't know what words to say

The Logos

In the beginning there was a boat called Earth. It sailed on the Logos, the only sea to ever exist.

The Logos was special, it was energy. It traveled through the ocean and was the ocean. Rolling on the tides and through them.

The Earth was empty at first, but the Logos kept the ship on course and after some time, life could inhabit the mighty vessel. As if it had simply POP-ed into existence, a speck of life sat on Earth. It had limited senses and no mobility, a single-celled organism. It sat patiently for a long time, before hearing a soft whisper on the wind, "You will be rewarded for your patience and trust."

And suddenly another speck of life popped into existence. It was very similar to the first creature, with only slightly more advanced senses. It too sat patiently and after some time, heard the soft whisper on the wind, "You will be rewarded for your patience and trust."

Suddenly a third speck of life popped into existence. This was more advanced and had more senses than the previous life forms but was still quite simple.

For billions of years this process continued to take place. And after billions of years, the life on Earth had become quite diverse. Each of the different creatures had found a place aboard Earth where they would not rock the boat, they had a balance with one another and  an understanding with the Logos. They let it steer their lives and their faith had been rewarded each time with a new shipmate to share their experience with.

One day, after having sat in it's place for a long time, the wind carried a message to the great Ape, "You will be rewarded for your patience and trust." And the first Human being came into existence.

The human opened his eyes and studied the creatures around him, as they studied him. He noticed that no one was steering their ship and thought he heard a voice tell him to go take the wheel. And so he stood on his feet and walked toward the ship's wheel, something no other creature had ever done.

The animals watched the man, unsure of his intentions and fearful of what he might do. Every creature had sat in it's place and let the Logos do the steering, seeing this new creature break the rules they had followed made them very anxious and they went to attack the him.

The human was superior to the animals and was able to subdue them by force, killing some and locking the rest in cages.

With the animals locked away, the human walked up to the wheel of the ship. As he gripped it, he felt a surge of energy coarse through him, like a jolt of electricity flowing through is body. After a moment he became used to the power and set a course straight into the sun.

Slowly but steadily, the waves got rougher and the weather became stormy. The human's change of course brought the Earth into some dangerous areas, one wave hit the Earth so strongly that a few animals were knocked off, falling back into the Logos to never be seen or heard of on Earth again. And through all of this, the human stood stubbornly at the wheel, trying for his life to steer the ship through the rough waters. 

Thunderous clouds and lightning flashes, pouring rain hitting his face- the human was being drained of his energy when suddenly he heard a familiar voice whisper to him, "You will be rewarded for your patience and trust."

And the human suddenly found himself a new mate. It was another human, but of the female variety. She looked identical to the man but held herself differently, as if she wasn't affected by the severe weather around them. The rain pelting her face, a smile creeping in from the sides of her lips.

She had an heir of confidence about her, as if everything was perfect exactly as it was. She was born with intuition the man did not possess. She could see the patterns, she could understand them. She looked at all the animals around her and could see her place amongst them. She knew that each animal on Earth was just another form for the Logos to inhabit, simply another vessel by which to travel. 

The rain continued to pour down on them, the woman was soaked but looked beautiful to the Man. She took his hand and led him away from the wheel. He tried to speak to her but only sounds would come out. She looked at him, looked at the animals in the cages. He followed her gaze and looked at the animals. Suddenly his awareness shifted, as if he'd never seen the animals before....a heavy weight began to grow on his chest.

The man looked up at the ship, seeing the torn sails and broken bows. He thought back to a time when everything was bright and shiny, a cool breeze in the air, animals co-existing peacefully. He looked back to the cages and worn ship. He looked down at his hands, the tools responsible for the damage he'd done.

The woman held his hands in hers, "These are responsible for much, but look where you brought us. Do you think anyone else here could have steered Earth? You were chosen."

The man looked up, seeing the Earth travel underneath a giant rainbow towards a majestic island full of trees and rolling hills.

She spoke to him again as she let the animals out of their cages, "We all have a part to play. This was your role, your part to play....  Don't fight it."