Saturday, September 22, 2012

Time to let go

We came like Lightning
Thunder clouds rolling
Our hearts pounding
Our lives unfolding

My love a weight
Fueling this hate
Not your fault
We had to part

Skipping work to hang out
Swinging by to pick you up
Kissing you in parking lots
Taking you in public spots

A fun distraction
While it lasted
I miss my friend
My old companion

Jettisoned now
Destined to grow
I haven't seen you yet
I know because I've looked


Leaving behind, 
all the rest
swaying this time, 
towards our  nest

You lay down, 
our legs entangle
No longer numb, 
energy untangled

Our eyes meet, 
you shift your hips
My eyes drift, 
I find your lips

Plump and wet, 
changing in front of me
My mind goes blank
as the sensations flood me

Get lost in our field
Our bodies afire
My finger keeps inching
the stroke a little lighter

Electrical currents
Connecting our circuits
We both feel the pull
That only our bodies know

The room expands
and disappears
We become the sun
And melt our fears

Slowly come back
To this planet
Look down to you
Was it just 15 minutes?


Dead sex
An empty embrace
No life in your eyes now 
what's left

If I'd know then 
What was happening
I would have thought
I could have done something

Stop texting
I'm blocking your emails
I'll never read them
through all of these tears

One day
I'll be
Happy again, 
We'll see

And one day
In another life
Mabye we could be friends
Maybe not

I still miss you
And I hate you
Wish you were back in my arms

Fucking A

What are you doing
In my world
Who told you that you could walk right through the door?

Two-face bully
Talk of love but you treat me like a stiff

I just wanted
To be a friend
Sure I'd slip but I was there to the bitter end

And now you're back
No care in the world
As if nothing happened and we're still good friends

Where's your head
Up in the clouds
You talk about the past, with no sights on yourself

I can't seem to let it go 
but I know I need to grow
You could change in a thousand ways, won't stop me from seeing the girl I know

Calling it Quits

You're calling it quits
As the sun sets
We'll go our separate ways

You've got your lists
And your reasons
So think away your pain

I held your bullshit
Even when you were mean
You showed your talons
Your venomous teeth

And now it's over, you think you've got away
No one to yell at, to fan at the flames
I'm going my way, but it feels like a shame

Where's the point
When you stopped
Trying and started dying
You made me
Your villain
Not fair
For not tellin'
Me the truth
Of where you were at
No points, 
You scaredy-cat
I loved you, 
All of you
That's the truth and now I'm due
For my next
Big catch
You watch
Get jealous
And now it's all 
Coming back
Time for me
To get on track

Rising sun
On horizon
Bring light on in

Turning on
My dark side
Let the shadows grow

Floating away

Floating on
a little row boat
out to see
somewhere more remote

smiling at you 
while we row away from it all
touching you
my fingers running through your hair

your head on my chest
arms holding you tight
hearts beat together
drift off into the night

reality lingers at the waters edge
mind mind races
my cloudy head
my body aches
longs for your touch
and in the end
I fear it's all lost

My patterns return
like the fish of the sea
eating one another
surviving another day

we're not living
stuck at sea
you're all I need
to stop growing me

and I look around
and realize your gone
the facade of connection
when I'm really all alone


Call me up
Give me the location
I'm on my way
with no hesitation

The moments we share
never last long
but we have a ball
and it's never boring

we keep burning hot
with no sign of slowing
she's got my number
and knows just how to play me

and I wanna talk
but she's not in the mood
and I want to sulk
when she's not around

Dear God i'm resentful
and afraid I've fallen
with no one to help me
Navigate these emotions

I know I'm alone
Always have been
I just keep wanting more
more love and affection

Seeing Again

A chance encounter
I see you again
You look different
and somehow the same

we laugh and touch
play games with our eyes
you see my eye wrinkles
just like old times

and for a moment I
let myself realize
how much I like seeing you
how I miss being with you

And we say goodbye
with plans to meet again
but as we turn to walk away
I know it won't happen

Because we could have it
but for how long
It could be magical
before reality returns

I've loved since you
and I saw what it was
Nothing too special
We'll have it with anyone

No Mistakes

This could be the biggest mistake I've made
but we'll never know, to rest it's been laid

and we'll adapt and change
and find a way to stay sane
and at the end of the day
we'll just sit there and say
it was for the better
no one will be wiser

but I'll know it could've gone any way
and I'm just sitting here waiting for the day
when you crawl back and look in my eye
and I'll see you learned, but we won't cry

cause we adapt and change
find ways to stay sane
our days grow short
and our nights get long
the darkness lingers
a little longer every time

Wednesday, September 19, 2012


You speak so violently
Jaw tight, you'd sit and stew
I'd just watch you quietly
never really seeing you
And in the end, 
no one wins 
and you just look at me

You never asked for what you wanted
I'd never look into my own heart
And in the end, 
we grew apart, 
what's left now

Moving away and changing jobs
Leaving behind new found friends
Resumes, walking, 
interviews and train-hopping
I knew it'd be hard, but never take this long
parties, faces, 
names and places
Turn on's starting while my world keeps turning
Writing like my hands on fire
flying on the wings I've borrowed
dancing with the fire snake
grooving for my shadow's sake

I feel a little like a child
looking back on what we created
I still think I hate you
for what you hid
In the end, 
were you ever my friend, 
you stranger

Now and then, I still think of you
and our little dog too
Still feels like 
a hole in my heart, 
and I just wonder why

Living in the Machine

This machine was
Built for us
For our future 
For people to prosper
Along came, 
Small men
Who Lacked love
But not envy

They put price tags on everything
Created a new step in sharing
We use the system
And see the symptoms
Makes us compete
To make ends meat
And we blame each other
For simply being animal

The charges lead
By unhappy people
Living unfulfilled Lives
Thinking their past was better
Wanting to Shrink all
To their lowly level

Never look to the top
To the operators above
The ones who create price tags
And promise to keep 'em down

And the operators fight
With a new group to blame
Loads of money raised
For their new campaign

So we all point and attack
And It's always the same
Inside this machine 
We're all still enslaved

The Burden Anthem

This world was barren, but full of life
Empty of buildings, and oh so ripe
And the animals saw us, even at night,
But they were helpless, we'd win the fight

On civilizations, we woke up
Traveling cross towns, knew what was right
The congregations arose, just out of spite
And some understood, they got to see light

And we have leaders
But we can lead ourselves
Who do we become
When the leaders lead us?

Idea of money and job, 
And all the steps involved
The time and energy, 
The system needs to evolve
Why such an enemy, 
And so removed from love

This place is full of stories
And the metaphors can travel everywhere
This place is heaven and hell
It can change at every corner

We created this world
Created these burdens
The river may have been straight
But we've made it perverted

And some will say, "We're powerless"
And really then the imagination's lost.
We got ourselves in, can get ourselves out
Come together to see what the big pictures about


I will love you
Long as you stick around
Will you stay with me
Forever and for all time

They stop and stare at me
To point and talk and giggle
I don't wanna be seen
Just hide out in the shadows

I will love you
Long as you stick around
I don't need you
Except when I feel down

I wanna eat her out
Devour her entirely
Just to prove I could
Another notch on my belt

I will love you
Long as you stick around
I'm just an animal
Who gets lonely in the dark


Seasons changing
The leaves falling
Moon shining
My breath freezing

Grab my scarf
outta storage
smells like Puffers
My old companion

Memories of us
running through the park
The grass so green
the Leaves piled up

Your little dog smile
as you frolic along
hiding in the leaves
we play our own games

tired and sweaty
we return home
both in the shower
to wash away the germs

Holding you 
against my chest
Give me dog kisses
just to connect
smelling your little paws
A memory I can't forget

Winter's here again
the Leaves are brown
Maybe I'll see you
playing with some new friends

Game Over

She worshipped me
and I could see
what was happening
but I wouldn't concede

I pretended otherwise
to get my way
and ended on the otherside
with no games to play

and now I'm left
feeling spun out of control
no longer sure of what's up
no longer sure of where to go

feeling empty
a lack of myself
I'm hiding somewhere
under all the grief

Lap Dog

I wake up in the middle of the night
Another nightmare, givin me a fright
I see your face
I remember your games
Go back to the place
When nothing changed
And I wonder
And I wonder
Were we ever friends
Or just lovers

I see your name flashin on my phone
My heart starts to drop
I can't seem to let go
See images of you
With your other guys
Feeling small
Left by wayside
And I wonder
And I wonder
Were we ever friends
Or just lovers

What's wrong with me
Why can't I see
How I'm guilty
What's wrong with me
Why can't I see
The way she treated me

I can't keep you close
I gotta cut you loose
You're bringing me down
With all your frowns
I was never me, 
Never good enough
You'd bitch me out, 
Like you had it rough

I was caged and disciplined
I knew what was bad
Never learned the right way
You never wanted it good
And when I look back
I see what I was
I was just your lap dog
So loyal and dumb
You just put me down
Just put me down
And put me out
Into the ground
And I wonder
And I wonder
Were we ever friends
Or just lovers

And you say you're losing
Your very best friend
And I think to myself
This needs to end
Cause we were just
Just no longer friends

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

She's Gone

She came to me
on a warm breeze
there were ups and downs
smiles and frowns
and now it's come to an end
so long to my best friend

Hand on the door
boxes packed
She'll walk out
and never come back

She's going now
riding the wind again
out of my life
as fast as she came in

And here I am
back where I started
Learned a lot
broken hearted

use my words
there all that's left
memories of us
fading fast

living now
day to day
dreams of tomorrow
lay and wait

Always be there

I saw my mom crying
and I gave her advice
I saw staci drowning
and I provided the vice

and when I was crying
I knew what it felt like
and when I was drowning
I just wanted it to stop

and I knew
when I was in it
how true
the depression
to feel left
by the wayside
alone and lost,
with no light

no direction in life
no where to call home
my hearts not inside of me
it stays somewhere else


You don't want to talk
about past or present
Unable to stay calm
when you're still in it

I'm drowning in the water
of your dreams to unfold
I need a life preserver
just to keep me afloat

and your words are cold
and far from feeling
and your eyes are distant
this is who I was dating?

How could you speak to me
with such disdain
Like I'm so beneath you
for feeling what's inside

but I can't talk to you
because you never think
and the moment I ask a question
You start to feel guilt

and I don't know
if it's mine or yours
where it's coming from
we'll never know

but you'd bitch me out
for feeling sad
call me ugly
when my tears ran

You watch me sink
and say it's my fault
You watch me cry
and say we're already broken up

And you wanna stay friends
and I can't believe you
Cause no one talks to me that way
No one fights like you do

Dumb Love

I'll give you the keys
to start my ignition
my heart starts rolling
my head goes missing

My chest starts to heave
and I begin to leave
and you can feel the heat
radiating from me

And you think you can feel
so I'll offer you a meal
but all you do is heal
and my heart you steal

steer me all over
just out of your way
and I'll be another lover
caught in your wake


I can see it now
We're not connected
Like fractals exploding
Into a spiral staircase

You think I'm responsible
For feeling your pain
I think you're the person
Responsible for this grin

But that's just not real
They don't work that way
Everything I feel
It's just coming from me

Nothing to do
With giving or taking
Just what I want
How far I'm willing...

I can see it now
How we're connected
Like fractals exploding
Into a double helix

I wanna make love
To another lover
She'll give herself over
In the way that I want to

I'm looking for an experience
One unlike any other
I'll know when I've found it
I'll have found an equal

Had sex and gone fucking
Just shades of the rainbow
How would it feel
To be made love to

I can see it now
That connectedness
Fractals changing
But never stopping

And I look into your eyes
And I see your intention
You're another lover
Someone connected

Fingers through your hair
Our lips caressing
Sliding down the fractal
As it keeps changing

Intertwined Lovers
Too ripe for the picking
But it's not gonna stop me
I want to keep searching


Particles in space
Traveling at the speed of light
Dancing in shapes
Interacting in a void
All attracting
All reacting
Particles entangling
Dancing around Love and Fear
A supernova explodes
The identities dissolve
A transcendental equation
A Perfect reaction
In an ever changing system
No remainders
Nothing left over
All crossed out
Miraculous Endeavor
Particles in space
Traveling at the speed of light
Dancing in shapes
Interacting in a void

Just an Animal

Sleeping and eating
this is my life
taking what I want
how animals survive

I saw you slinking
your fine ass away
knew I had have you
would take you my way

I led you and fed you
Kept you safe from others
Ignored you and hid you
gave you my leftovers
I knew we were
different breeds
Lions and Puma's
just planting the seeds

We fight over the carcass
we fight over everything
noises we make
like biting at my face
I come away,
bloodied and scarred
and there you go
Off to look for more

Back to the jungle
where we belong
Lick my wounds
'til another comes along

Underground Caves

Space and time
They go and hide
Something in your eyes
I cannot deny

I want to talk
but would rather walk
words get in the way
follow me to a new day

we banter and laugh
but we're not talking
we forget the words
they mean nothing
Looking and watching
Our bodies happening
your lips begin to curl
You see my eyes wrinkle

The start of an adventure
Our bodies the center
Minds yearning for more
ready to explore
don't care about your day
what you have to say
give yourself over
see me as a lover

a body of peaks and valleys
A cave with no drawings
my finger's expression
your skins sensations

I want to go deep
My tongue taking lead
And shine my light
on the places in dark
left in the dark forever
cause no one else bothered

Lucifer's Hammer

I planted the seeds
and filled all their needs
Coming in crooked
why aren't you lookin'
Like Lucifer's Hammer
coming from above
I never saw it coming
but now it's obvious
How'd they grow
so damn fast
The stalks got away from me
They're not gonna last

You're like lucifer's hammer
my world is destroyed
Torn to pieces
and stuck in a void

You leaned away
and what can I say
Didn't give you enough water
guess I'm to blame

I was Lucifer's Hammer
and came in fast
to set your future
and destroy your past

Static Love

I'll swallow my soul
just to keep you close
and I'll play in all your games
if you'll only take my name

This can't be happening
not because of me
You broke me into pieces
and now you're gonna leave

Please stay with me
Just stay me

What could I have changed
Nothing will be the same
And nothing seems to matter
So why bother with the chatter

And I can't seem to leave
this dark place in me
Sorry you've got to die
just for me to survive

Please stay with me
Just stay me

I see you walk towards me
Looking sweet as a peach
Going into the class
Our paths look to pass

yoga matts in a pile
I see you across the tile
dancing all the while
your flashing me a smile

Please stay with me
stay me

And I'm not ready
but I took you with me
Would you stay a little longer
If I made you an omelet

Cause I want you to be
Just to be with me
If love is a state of mind
I just want to make up mine

Please stay with me
Just stay me
Stay me

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Down the Slide

These feelings inside of me
I can't help but concede
They're driving me crazy
And my brain's gonna bleed

I'll follow you Alice
And feel the fall fast
Get lost in the pictures
Pictures of the past

And what's going on
What's really happening
Up is now down
I just wanna go dancing

And I could dance
With everyone in here
Did I get a chance
To get near you?

On the trip
I thought we were close
But as it fades
I'm feeling what's lost

And what I miss
It's not being given to
I'm seeing it now...
I just miss giving to

And when I see it
What I extended
I see that's what I longed for
And I'm still searchin'

So take me Alice
And show me the way
Show me the world
In a way where I won't know what words to say

Thursday, May 3, 2012

The Logos

In the beginning there was a boat called Earth. It sailed on the Logos, the only sea to ever exist.

The Logos was special, it was energy. It traveled through the ocean and was the ocean. Rolling on the tides and through them.

The Earth was empty at first, but the Logos kept the ship on course and after some time, life could inhabit the mighty vessel. As if it had simply POP-ed into existence, a speck of life sat on Earth. It had limited senses and no mobility, a single-celled organism. It sat patiently for a long time, before hearing a soft whisper on the wind, "You will be rewarded for your patience and trust."

And suddenly another speck of life popped into existence. It was very similar to the first creature, with only slightly more advanced senses. It too sat patiently and after some time, heard the soft whisper on the wind, "You will be rewarded for your patience and trust."

Suddenly a third speck of life popped into existence. This was more advanced and had more senses than the previous life forms but was still quite simple.

For billions of years this process continued to take place. And after billions of years, the life on Earth had become quite diverse. Each of the different creatures had found a place aboard Earth where they would not rock the boat, they had a balance with one another and  an understanding with the Logos. They let it steer their lives and their faith had been rewarded each time with a new shipmate to share their experience with.

One day, after having sat in it's place for a long time, the wind carried a message to the great Ape, "You will be rewarded for your patience and trust." And the first Human being came into existence.

The human opened his eyes and studied the creatures around him, as they studied him. He noticed that no one was steering their ship and thought he heard a voice tell him to go take the wheel. And so he stood on his feet and walked toward the ship's wheel, something no other creature had ever done.

The animals watched the man, unsure of his intentions and fearful of what he might do. Every creature had sat in it's place and let the Logos do the steering, seeing this new creature break the rules they had followed made them very anxious and they went to attack the him.

The human was superior to the animals and was able to subdue them by force, killing some and locking the rest in cages.

With the animals locked away, the human walked up to the wheel of the ship. As he gripped it, he felt a surge of energy coarse through him, like a jolt of electricity flowing through is body. After a moment he became used to the power and set a course straight into the sun.

Slowly but steadily, the waves got rougher and the weather became stormy. The human's change of course brought the Earth into some dangerous areas, one wave hit the Earth so strongly that a few animals were knocked off, falling back into the Logos to never be seen or heard of on Earth again. And through all of this, the human stood stubbornly at the wheel, trying for his life to steer the ship through the rough waters. 

Thunderous clouds and lightning flashes, pouring rain hitting his face- the human was being drained of his energy when suddenly he heard a familiar voice whisper to him, "You will be rewarded for your patience and trust."

And the human suddenly found himself a new mate. It was another human, but of the female variety. She looked identical to the man but held herself differently, as if she wasn't affected by the severe weather around them. The rain pelting her face, a smile creeping in from the sides of her lips.

She had an heir of confidence about her, as if everything was perfect exactly as it was. She was born with intuition the man did not possess. She could see the patterns, she could understand them. She looked at all the animals around her and could see her place amongst them. She knew that each animal on Earth was just another form for the Logos to inhabit, simply another vessel by which to travel. 

The rain continued to pour down on them, the woman was soaked but looked beautiful to the Man. She took his hand and led him away from the wheel. He tried to speak to her but only sounds would come out. She looked at him, looked at the animals in the cages. He followed her gaze and looked at the animals. Suddenly his awareness shifted, as if he'd never seen the animals before....a heavy weight began to grow on his chest.

The man looked up at the ship, seeing the torn sails and broken bows. He thought back to a time when everything was bright and shiny, a cool breeze in the air, animals co-existing peacefully. He looked back to the cages and worn ship. He looked down at his hands, the tools responsible for the damage he'd done.

The woman held his hands in hers, "These are responsible for much, but look where you brought us. Do you think anyone else here could have steered Earth? You were chosen."

The man looked up, seeing the Earth travel underneath a giant rainbow towards a majestic island full of trees and rolling hills.

She spoke to him again as she let the animals out of their cages, "We all have a part to play. This was your role, your part to play....  Don't fight it."